The #1 Key Wedding Decision
Wedding require a lot of decision making. The easiest way to get through it? Start with the #1 Key Wedding Decision that will make all your other wedding decisions that much easier. This one decision will have a snowball effect on your wedding planning.
Weddings require a lot of decision making…like A LOT.
You make one decision about your venue and you feel pretty good about it, you feel accomplished. Then just as you go to let out a sigh of relief, 12 more wedding decisions pop up that require your immediate attention. If wedding planning was an arcade game, it would be whack-a-mole.
To make all the decisions easier, I like to encourage couples to start with the “key decisions” of their wedding. While I could chat all day about wedding color palettes, which is a decision that will need to be made eventually, it’s definitely not a “key decision”. By focusing on the key wedding decisions first, it will help create a solid foundation for you to design the rest of your wedding from.
I feel so strongly about this that the entire first module of my online Wedding Design 101 course is dedicated entirely to the five key wedding decisions that help set couples up for success with their wedding planning.
Today, I wanted to share the #1 Key Wedding Decision I would encourage you and your partner to make first. Are you ready to learn what this magical key decision is?
The #1 Key Wedding Decision is determining your wedding size (aka your estimated guest count). I know, I know, it’s not the most glamorous of the wedding decisions you’ll be making, but I promise you this one decision has a domino effect on all future decisions.
Knowing your wedding size will help you narrow down the scope of what’s possible for your wedding. Here are a couple of ways this key decision will help kick start other key decisions.
Venue Selection - Knowing your estimated guest count, will help you narrow down which venues you want to consider. For example if you end up with an estimated guest count of 250, that quaint rose garden in the heart of the city will no longer be an option. Many online venue searches allow you to filter by wedding size and location. Knowing your wedding size can definitely help narrow down your list of venue options.
Budget Range - Once you know your wedding size, you can start to get a better sense of your budget. Most caterers will have a per guest rate fee. In a 2022 study of wedding costs, couples paid an average of $75 per guest for catering (not this does not include the costs associated with an open bar). Let’s go with the $75 per guest average. If you know you’re having a wedding of 150 people, you could budget $11,250 (150 x $75) for catering costs. Did you just throw up a little? I know $11,000 is a small fortune. This is just an estimate based on averages. You should know my ENTIRE wedding cost less than half that catering bill. Take a breath. It’s going to be okay.
So how do you start getting an estimate of your wedding guest count? You and your partner will each need to make a list of who you want to invite to the wedding. It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3…
List all guests you consider “mandatory” ; these are the people you feel absolutely must be at your wedding (siblings, parents, etc.)
List all close friends and family members (cousins, best friends, roommates, etc.)
List any additional guests you want to invite, but wouldn’t be devastated if they didn’t make it (co-workers, friends from college, clients, etc.)
Once you and your fiancé each make your own lists separately, go through them together and remove/add anyone else you might think of. Then, total it up. If you end up with way more people than you wanted, remove the guests from list #3 and see what your total is then. Still too many? Remove guests from list #2. Do this until you feel you’re at a number that feels good for both of you.
Need a visual? Of course I have you covered! See here for an easy to use template to help make your 1-2-3 wedding guest list.
“When it comes to weddings, size definitely matters!”
I promise if you take the time to prioritize making this key wedding decision first, it will make the rest of your planning so much easier!
Want to learn more about all the key wedding decisions? Get on the waitlist for my Wedding Design 101 course.
Have other wedding related things you need help with? Reach me directly at gatheredheredesigns@gmail.com!
Happy designing!
~Amanda Jean
Why to Avoid Wedding Trends
Two reasons why you might want to consider avoiding the latest wedding trends.
It may be tempting to copy the latest wedding trend. As someone who lives for wedding design, fashion, and home decor, I get it. Trends are enticing. It’s easy to get sucked into the beauty of it all. After you see image after image of weddings featuring a floral arch, you start thinking “Hey, maybe we need a floral arch…” Even if you absolutely never wanted one. Then you start reading about all these unity trends for ceremonies and pretty soon you’re standing in an aisle at your local craft store looking at different colors sand wondering how you got there.
Anytime I see posts online or in wedding magazines about the “top wedding trends”, I proceed with caution and while I can’t make you, I do encourage you to do the same. There are two big reasons I recommend avoiding wedding trends:
They can cause additional expense
They lack connection/meaning
Wedding trends can cause an extra expense
A big downside of following a wedding trend is expense. Think about it. If everyone getting married wants a photo booth at their wedding and there are only so many photo booth rentals available, you end up in a bit of a supply and demand situation. Hang with me now, I promise I would get too far into economic trends. Basically, it comes down to this: higher demand leads to a limited supply, which in turn leads to higher prices.
Still not getting it? Allow me to take you back to the 2011 royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Bridal gowns around this time were mostly strapless. Trust me, I know, I got married in 2010 when all you could find were strapless gowns. Then comes the ever stunning Kate Middleton to alter the course of wedding dress design forever. Her v-neck, lace and satin long sleeve masterpiece designed by Sarah Burton (creative director of Alexander McQueen), captured us all. Once the royal wedding took place on April 29, 2011, it was all v-necklines and long sleeve lace gowns. Co-owner of the infamous “Say Yes to the Dress” Kelinfelds bridal salon in New York City, Mara Urshel, noticed a change in wedding dress requests following the royal wedding. Urshel reported a high demand for long sleeve gowns after the royal wedding to mimic the elegant gown worn by Middleton. This high demand was not something the industry was prepared for necessarily, leading to a supply and demand issue for long sleeve wedding gowns.
Now maybe a long sleeve gown is your thing. If that’s the case, go for it. Just be mindful that it might cost you a bit extra to be “on trend” with every aspect of your wedding. If you insist on going the trendy wedding route, try being choosy with which trends you follow. This way you can help keep costs down.
For me, this next reason is even more important than money (I know, hard to believe). Staying on trend is expensive, but I think the highest cost is ending up with a wedding that feels nothing like you or your partner.
Wedding trends lack connection/meaning
Imagine walking into your reception, hand in hand with your new spouse, high on the happiness of being newly married. You enter the venue and hear laughter, music, and joyful chaos. You look around to take it all in, then you look at your partner, and back to the venue, only to realize neither one of you is represented anywhere. Sure it’s beautiful and instagram-able, but it isn’t you and it isn’t your partner. It’s almost like you walked into a styled shoot for some online wedding magazine.
Weddings can be stunning and still feel like you and your partner. You can infuse your personality into your wedding in ways both big or small…or both! Let me share some examples to get your wedding design inspiration flowing.
One of my former online clients I did a design package for really loved cats. When we were working together to create a design plan, I came up with an idea to incorporate wine glass charms that featured cats. She LOVED this idea. It was a fun way to incorporate her love for cats, while also doubling as a wedding favor for their guests.
Side note - if I were to design Taylor Swift’s wedding, there would definitely be a lot of cat moments throughout. Yes, these are the kinds of things I think about on a regular basis. Anyways, moving on…
For my own wedding, it was yellow butterflies. My grandma passed away before I got married. Before she passed, she told us she was going to come back as a yellow butterfly. It’s become a thing within our family that every time we see a yellow butterfly pass by we smile and say “Hi grandma!”. To honor her memory, my spouse and I infused yellow butterflies throughout our wedding. They were in my bouquet, on the wedding arch, and on the seating chart (which also doubled as the favors).
My wedding bouquet - full of yellow butterflies
Our wedding seating chart/part favors
When I styled my little sister’s wedding, I incorporated hops plants on their wedding arch. This might seem random, but it was very intentional. Since we were kids, my dad has brewed his own beer and when we moved to Oregon, he started growing his own hops. The hops on the arbor were taken from my parent’s yard. It was a fun nod to our dad to include hops in their wedding decor.
Me - decorating the wedding arbor with hops for my younger sister’s wedding
Wedding arbor decorated with hops
Hops wedding arbor
Your wedding is a time to celebrate who you are as individuals and who you are as a couple. I encourage you to use this moment in time to express yourselves and share your story, your personality, your love, with all of those who have gathered to celebrate you. Feeling connected to your wedding design is important. You don’t want to walk into your wedding and feel like you don’t belong at your own celebration. Connection is key!
I promise adding your different personalities and stories to your wedding is not as intimidating as it sounds. There are all kinds of simple ways to do this and I’ve included a list below to help inspire you both.
As you continue on your wedding design journey, be sure to trend check yourself. Are you getting sucked into something because “everyone is doing it” or does it really feel like you and your partner? Find a trend your absolutely LOVE, go for it, just make sure you’re choosing it because it’s “you” not because Instagram brainwashed you into thinking you had to have this exact chocolate fountain at your dessert table in order to experience wedded bliss.
Easy places to infuse your wedding your story + personality:
Create a custom cocktail and name it after a special place or experience you’ve shared as a couple
Have custom napkins created (seriously, it’s not as pricey as it sounds) and feature an image of your shared pet or the place you met
Honor loved ones past via a special table with photos of them (gift table or behind the last row of ceremony chairs are good locations) or add their photos to the bouquet
Instead of a wedding favor, make a donation to a charity that means a lot to you and your partner
“They would be here today, if heaven wasn’t so far away.”
Displaying photos are simple way to honor loved ones passed on your wedding day. Styled by yours truly.
My dad’s parents on their wedding day
Happy designing!
~Amanda Jean
The Ultimate Wedding Movie Watchlist
Movies are a great place for wedding inspiration. This is the ultimate wedding movie watchlist to help inspire your wedding design ideas.
A record amount of snow hit Boise yesterday, nearly 7 inches overnight! Now I know this is nothing compared to those hunkering down in North Dakota (a colleague of mine got over two feet one night last week) or Minnesota this winter, but still it’s a lot. Even though I’ve lived in snowy places throughout my life (Hello Colorado circa 1999), too much snow leaves me feeling a bit like Renee Zellweger in this scene of “New in Town”.
How I feel about winter sometimes. Credit
Speaking of movies and freezing cold (yesterday the high was 16 degrees), movie watching is the perfect winter activity (aside from all the actual snow-based activities like sledding, snowman building, boarding, skiing and eating cups of snow covered in maple syrup <<< a tradition from my childhood in Colorado). Today I cozied up in a giant blanket, with my latest hot chocolate recipe (see below), and enjoyed a movie in bed.
Date hot chocolate + movie time
Date Hot Chocolate Recipe
Ingredients
3 pitted dates
1.5 tbsp raw cacao powder
¼ cup coconut milk
1 cup boiling hot water
Himalayan salt, chili powder, and cinnamon to taste
Directions
Put all ingredients into a blender (make sure you have a blender that is safe to pour hot liquids into)
I like to let the boiling water sit on the dates for a few minutes to help soften the dates
Blend it up (blend twice to avoid date chunks)
Add spices to taste
Okay, now that you have your hot coco ready grab your favorite blanket, cozy on up, and allow me to share my love of movies with you.
I watch movies like other people read books. I use it as a way to escape to another world and to live out my love for New York, weddings, and women with powerful careers. I assure you there’s not a romantic comedy created between 1989-present day that I haven’t seen. Nora Ephron and Nancy Meyers have made some of my favorites. With both of them having created some of, in my opinion, the best rom-coms of all time (see: You’ve Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, It’s Complicated, The Holiday, The Parent Trap remake…and more). Can I just say that when I was a kid, and probably still a little bit as an adult, I thought Meredith Blake was the epitome of beauty...sigh. Maybe this is where my love of red lipstick comes from?
All this to say, I have seen A LOT of movies and a lot of movies with weddings. Below I have categorized some of my favorite movies that feature weddings.
The Best Movies Featuring Weddings
Traditional: Father of the Bride + My Best Friend’s Wedding
Father of the Bride - Diane Keaton, Steve Martin, and Kimberly Williams-Paisley star in this remake. Note the mother-of-the-bride dress in the original Father of the Bride film from 1950 with Elizabeth Taylor is truly magnificent. The remake however, holds my heart. The house, the overprotective father, the wedding planner (played by the talented Martin Short) - it’s a delight. Plus, this movie is bringing ALL THE 90s VIBES! It boasts a very 1990s traditional ceremony in a church (those pink bridesmaids dresses, the real candles, the bows - squeal!), paired with a stunning backyard wedding. My favorite wedding moment? Watch until the very end to see how the reception tent is made out of twinkle lights, oh my gosh - I cannot with this intimate reception!
My Best Friend’s Wedding - Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, and Dermot Mulroney. This drop dead gorgeous trio leads you through the full wedding experience. From dress fittings (why yes, the seamstress is the same actress who plays the mechanic Gypsy in Gilmore Girls), to a hilarious rehearsal dinner, followed by a dramatic pre-wedding brunch, and finally the wedding itself - this movie has it all. This evening wedding features a classic white tent with white linens throughout. Though I’m not sure why both the wedding dress and the maid of honor dress have fabric flowers in the armpits…was this a thing in the late 90s? Also, the maid of honor dress reminds me of the sparkly purple dress Ariel wears in the original Little Mermaid movie and I always found that dress to be magical. Anyways, my favorite wedding moment is when they are driving away in the getaway car and all the fireworks go off - so magical. And the scene with Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts talking about Jello. Also, when Mulroney comes back and says goodbye to Roberts…I’m not crying, you’re crying!
Over the Top: Crazy Rich Asians
The tall meadow grasses, the acoustic music, the floral design, the lanterns, the firefly lights, and THE WATER!!! Oh my goodness, the water! I cannot get over this scene. I have seen a LOT of weddings in movies, and in person, and never have I ever seen something anywhere close to this. If you haven’t seen it, I beg of you to watch the wedding scene. My favorite wedding moment? When the main characters mouth “I love you” to one another as the bride is preparing to walk down the aisle. I know, it has nothing to do with the design part, but it gets me every time.
Modern: Notting Hill
Now I know I already have Julia Roberts movies on this list, but that’s because she is the best and there’s no denying that. Nope, don’t even try. This movie boasts some great one liners and the roommate, played by Rhys Ifan, will have you cracking up throughout.
Unless you watch until the very end, you will miss the very short wedding scene. Every time I see this movie, the wedding catches me off guard because it has such a modern feeling. While the wedding dress is not my personal style, I find it intriguing because it’s just so unique. While I don’t have a favorite wedding moment from this movie because that scene is so short, my favorite quote from it has to be, “Happiness isn’t happiness without a violin playing goat.” Watch it, you’ll love it.
“Happiness isn’t happiness without a violin playing goat.”
Boho Wedding: Mamma Mia
You’re singing already, I can tell. This ode to Abba musical will have you dancing, singing, and wondering just how in the world Pierce Brosnan keeps getting cast in musical roles. Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried (who I once saw walking down 23rd Avenue in Portland) play a mother daughter duo in this musical film. The boho vibes in this wedding are unparalleled - her hair, the dress, the location. My favorite wedding moment from this movie has to be the ceremony location - an ancient church on top of a hill overlooking the Mediterranean #weddinggoals.
Outdoor Wedding: Fools Rush In
Fools Rush In - Selma Hayek and the late great Matthew Perry star in this 1997 underrated rom-com. Not only is this one of my top 5 favorite movies EVER MADE, it also has my favorite movie quote:
My older sister and I used to watch this movie religiously on Taco Tuesdays when we lived together. I haven’t been able to watch it since Perry’s passing and maybe it won’t quite feel the same knowing he is gone next time I do watch it, but this movie will always have a place in my heart. Of course, it also features New York City at Christmas time which is on my bucket list of things to experience. My favorite wedding moment? The location and the music. The ceremony is on top of the Grand Canyon (can you imagine the photos!?!) and the song “Can’t Help Falling in Love” has become such a popular first dance song in the wedding world. Personally, I like Elvis’s version, but there are a lot of good remakes of this song out there too. One of my best friend’s first wedding dances was to “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Haley Reinhart. It was a beautiful moment (see for yourself below!).
Beach Wedding: - 27 Dresses
James Marsden (who I think is oh-so cute) and Katherine Heigel star in this movie, along with Malin Akerman (loved her in the TV series “Trophy Wife”) and Judy Greer (who always seems to be cast as the hilarious best friend). There are lots of wedding scenes in this movie…maybe not 27, but still a lot. Katherine Heigel’s character plays a perpetual bridesmaid longing for her own dream wedding day with none other than her boss who ends up falling in love with her sister - oh the drama. I also love love love the scene where they’re stuck at a bar and end up singing Elton John on the bar top. My favorite wedding related moment in this movie (aside from the fact it takes place in New York and the idea of a wedding in the boathouse in Central Park is so dreamy to me) is the gothic wedding for the lead character’s co-worker. Why? Because I love weddings that feel like a true representation of the couple getting married. Hate the idea of a white dress? Skip it and wear black. Personally, I would wear red (like this one) if I were to get married today. See, this is why I watch movies to live out all my wedding fantasies, much more affordable than paying to throw multiple weddings.
All the Weddings: - The Wedding Planner + Runaway Bride
The Wedding Planner - If you’re not sure what wedding vibe you’re feeling for your movie day, this is a great go-to. This movie features Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Chambers (pre Dr. Karev days) and again the hilarious Judy Greer. In this movie, Jennifer Lopez plays a type-A wedding planner looking to become a partner at the design firm she works for in San Francisco. My favorite wedding moment from this movie includes all the “behind the scenes” perspectives of what being wedding planning really entails (helping a bride-to-be remove the self tanner that turned out to be such a mistake, sourcing the perfect flowers, feeding the best man their speech at the reception). I also really love the wedding dresses in this movie and the birdcage veil worn to the courthouse ceremony by Jennifer Lopez. Oh oh and the scene where Jennifer Lopez describes what type of wedding she pictures for the main couple. She says she imagines tents that are “thin enough you can see the stars”. And the scene with the statue garden…okay I have a lot of favorites from this one.
Runaway Bride - Alright, Ms. Roberts ended up in this post 3 times, but as I mentioned before, you cannot argue with greatness. This movie features a lot of different wedding styles. From a rock and roll Woodstock vibe wedding, to traditional Catholic wedding , to an outdoor wedding where she rides away on her own horse - it will really get your wedding design wheels turning. This movie is about finding out who you are and how to not lose person once you get married. The vows said in the fourth and final wedding this this movie are so good, I have it as another one of my favorite wedding movie quotes.
Also, Joan Cusack is hilarious and I love her in this movie. My favorite wedding moment is just overall how she refuses to settle for anything, but exactly what she wants, but the scene in the church where she’s calming down in front of the fan...classic. Aside from the vows at the very end, her dress in that scene (amazing) and the dress from the scene in the bridal shop where she sways like a bell (also amazing). This wedding features rural America (where I grew up) and of course it also features New York City. Mostly taking place in the fall which is my favorite season. This movie is quoted A LOT in my family.
So next time you are stuck inside with 7 inches of snow or you’re just wanting a chill day, you now have a list of the perfect movies to choose from based on the type of wedding they feature. Maybe this is just a me thing? If you’re into weddings as much as me, share in the comments your favorite wedding-based movie!
Happy movie watching!
~Amanda Jean
It’s that time of year…when the world gets engaged
Engagement season is here! Maybe it’s the twinkle lights or the cozy nights by the fireplace - there’s just something about the holiday magic that sparks proposals. Whether you’re newly engaged or getting engaged, I invite you to read more about my favorite season: engagement season.
There is something about this time of year. The gatherings, the music, the twinkle lights, the first snowfall, the cozy moments in front of the fire (or in my case, in front of the battery operated candles) - there’s just magic in the air.
From Thanksgiving into the New Year, there’s a joy, a hope, a sparkle. It’s no wonder this time of year sparks so many engagements! We all know it’s the holiday season, but did you know it’s also the peak engagement season in the U.S.? Engagement season? Yep, that’s a thing.
In the US, it’s reported that over 15% of couples getting engaged each year will get engaged in the month of December. Personally, I got engaged in January, still pretty close to that peak engagement month and it was in the snow (I told you…that winter magic!). My now spouse proposed to me during a snowshoe hike in the middle of the woods.
Allow me to share a little more about this experience…
In a not at all romantic twist, he told me mid-hike that he had to go to the bathroom and left me standing, alone, on a trail in the snowy woods. Several moments later, as I waited awkwardly on the trail solo, I heard, “Hey babe, come look at this!” Not something anyone wants to hear, when you think your partner is going to the bathroom in the woods (I cringe even writing this).
I followed the voice into the woods and found a path of red rose petals, where my partner was kneeling with a ring that was tied to a string hooked to his jacket ( just in case he accidentally dropped in the snow). He asked, I said yes, and the rest is history (14+ years of history!).
Engaged - January 2009
Maybe it’s the magic of the season combined with the snow that helps set the ideal scene for a proposal, or maybe that’s just my own experience. But seriously, engagements are running rampant right now.
In less than a week apart, I know two people who have gotten engaged. As Frank Sinatra first crooned in 1954, “It’s that time of year, when the world falls in love…” Whoa, was his right!
Whether you’re newly engaged this winter season or you’re mid wedding planning, Frank and I tip our hats to you as you celebrate this time as a couple.
I find most newly engaged couples end up feeling 1 of 3 ways:
1. There’s the warm fuzzy, mushy gushy love feels:
2. The BAM! I’m engaged-lookout-world feels:
And then, my personal favorite…
3. The super chill I got what I wanted, so I’m just going to sit here and chill because I have no idea what to do next feels:
However you may be feeling this engagement season, I invite you to soak it all in and feel all the feels. You’re engaged! And that really is something to enjoy.
If any of your feels are eager to jump into next steps in your engagement and wedding planning process, be sure to heck out this GHD page for some great free resources to support you in your wedding design process!
Happy engaging!
~Amanda Jean