3 Things that did NOT matter at my wedding
Remember a couple weeks ago, when I shared the 3 things I loved the most about my wedding? Well today I want to share the 3 things that mattered least to me (at the time) about the wedding.
If you’re in the beginning stages of your wedding planning and design, you might be thinking EVERYTHING matters. That’s cute, enjoy that. At some point though, there’s going to come a moment where it’s either time or money that will force you to prioritize what matters most and give up or give in on a few things that don’t matter as much to you.
To help ease the tension in wedding planning and design priorities, I encourage couples to chat early on in the process with their partner to identify the most important elements of their wedding. This way there are no (or at least fewer) surprises later on.
My spouse and I planned, designed, and paid for our wedding ourselves. When we got married, money was TIGHT (student loan debt anyone?). With our tight budget (we only had $5,000 for the wedding total - including all rentals, photography, food, music, etc.), we had to skimp on some things.
Below are the 3 things that mattered least to us and therefore got the least amount of our wedding budget.
Food
I can hear my older sister sighing as I write this…food was not our top priority at the wedding. I know this sounds bananas, but remember the part about being broke? Yah, that played a big role in the food. My spouse comes from a BIG family, so many aunts and uncles. His aunts volunteered to make the food at cost.
For about $500ish the aunts put together pasta dishes, rolls, salads, maybe chicken? I literally do not remember the food because it was not important to us and we barely had time to eat between all the talking and dancing.
Insert my sister going on and on about all the dishes we had with mayonnaise in them (yes, she still talks about this 14 years later). Looking back, it probably wasn’t the best idea to have so much mayonnaise outside on a 90+ degree summer day, but no one got sick from it and we didn’t become more broke so, in the end, it all worked out. The food was so unimportant, there isn’t even a photo of it. The cake though was fabulous and we had it baked by a soroity friend of my mother-in-law’s for $125-$150ish.
The food didn’t matter, but the cake had to be on point!
Flowers
Flowers are beautiful and in case you didn’t know, I LOVE wedding flowers (see here). While beautiful, they’re also pricey. If I had known what I know now about flowers, I probably would have explored more about wholesale and bulk options (more on that here). At the time though, we were just trying to plan quickly (engaged in January 2010, married July 2010) and stay on budget.
I did end up working with a florist for bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres and a feel single rose aisle pieces (pictured below). The centerpieces I did myself via Gerber daisies ordered wholesale at Costco (more on that here).
If I were to redo our wedding today, I would likely DIY the flowers (for sure corsage cuffs!) and maybe outsource the bridal bouquet and maybe a floral arch or ground arch for the ceremony. I also love the look of looser bouquets. The messy and wild looking ones - kind of like marriage, they’re imperfect, one-of-a-kind, and beautiful.
Single roses with vines in mason jars down the aisle - held by Shepards hooks
View of the boutonnière and my bouquet circa 2010
Bridesmaid Dresses
Our wedding was outside on a ranch in the heat of the day, so dresses needed to be shorter and breathable. Insert the idea for a cotton sundress. I just had my two sisters as my bridesmaids. Weddings feel very intimate to me, so I prefer the approach of only have the closest people in my life standing next to me. I know some people like big wedding parties and if that’s your jam, I say go for it! As more of an introvert though, I’m big on quality of quantity.
For my sisters, I gave them the options to buy their own dress and get lunch and nails done on me or I could buy the dress for them without the fun stuff. My younger sister was still in high school when I got married, so my parents covered her dress and my older sister opted to buy her own dress and I took her out for lunch and a pedicure.
My younger sister in the bridesmaid dress - such a cutie!
My older sister and I pre-wedding - keeping me laughing as usual
While what mattered least to me, might end up being what matters most to you on your big day and that’s okay. Find out what matters to you and your partner.
My hope is this helps get your wheels turning about what you may or may not want to prioritize with your wedding budget. Looking for more inspiration? Check out my Pinterest which is full of ideas and free templates to help you with your wedding design journey.
In the end, I’ll say the thing that will really end up mattering about your wedding is who you spend it with. My co-worker recently shared the thing she was most excited about with her upcoming wedding was “all her worlds colliding” and this made so much sense to me. If we were to redo our wedding today, we might prioritize things a little differently, though I would never change the overall vibe or joy that day bought (more on that kind of wedding magic here).
Shoutout to Ashliegh - wishing you a wonderful wedding weekend, may all your worlds collide in the most perfect way!!!
Happy Wedding!
